Elizabeth Sandler

Issue #3: Mudslides and Mudpies

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I am currently on vacation, writing to you from The Pacific Coast Highway. This is a road you used to be able to drive from San Francisco all the way to Los Angeles. But no longer. A mudslide has made the highway impassable and there is a possibility that it never reopens.  Thirty years ago my best friend and I were driving from Yosemite to Los Angeles and we talked about driving the PCH.  There was no google maps back then so using a paper map we determinated it would be an extra 4 hours of driving. I don’t know why two twenty-something women were in such a hurry nor why we couldn’t have just left Yosemite a little earlier, but we took the 5 instead (that’s California speak for Interstate Highway 5.) Now, if you want to drive the PCH from top to bottom the only way to do it is to double back and spend 4 plus hours driving around the mudslide. Thirty years later and my decision is the same – I am not spending 4 hours to do that on this trip. It would be non-sensical, and all those hours on the 101 would make my family revolt.  But for me it’s still the same 4 hours and I now wish I had done it back then so I could have checked it off my bucket list. I call this the “future time fallacy” and it is the belief that time today is more valuable than time in the future.  Many have tried to create antidotes to this such as “carpe diem”, “YOLO”, or “curing the somedays”, but these don’t exactly fit. When it comes to life fulfillment the solution isn’t to maximize this moment because tomorrow may not come.  The solution is to slow down time so that you have more time than you need. It has taken me some time (no pun intended) to learn how to slow time, but I can now do it. I know this because I have plenty of moments where I have felt that a lot of time has passed, but then I look at the clock and it has barely moved. Keep in mind that our perception of time is driven by three factors – Memory, Attention, and Anticipation or as Dickens called them — the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. Anyone who has ever experienced flow, as operationalized by the late Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his seminal book by the same name, knows what the slowing of time feels like.   If you’d like to get back more time in your life here are my 3 steps to building a foundation for slowing time on an on-going basis, not just when you’re in flow. First, stop black hole behaviors including multi-tasking, task-switching, and building days that have no breathing room in them. Learn to consciously control time absorbers like binge watching or scrolling. You don’t have to be 100% disciplined at this, but you have to create the control and ability to be if you wanted to.  If you can’t do this then stop reading now and come back when you can (sorry, that’s the parent in me talking!)  Second, learn how to connect with yourself mind, body, and spirit. I suggest 20 minutes a day of either meditation, body scans, stretching, mindful yoga, journaling, or any other contemplative practice that breaks up your busy life routine. YouTube has plenty of free resources to help you get started. The Zen proverb below shares my perspective on skipping this step! Finally, reframe your thinking from memory recall to memory recognition.  That means in the moment recognize that you are creating a memory and log exactly the feelings that accompany it.  If you have learned the first two steps this third step becomes second nature.  Watch out for the impacts of awareness inhibitors like excessive volume, distractions, fear, or alcohol. This took me a lot less time than I had allocated to write this issue so now I have an extra hour to enjoy this small section of the PCH (we are turning around in Big Sur). Thankfully, there is a Pacific Coast Highway in Oregon, Washington and New Zealand that I can still find the time to drive. From the Executive Maven Toolkit In each issue I share a simple tool from our library and today I am sharing my framework for Mindset De-railers and Re-railers. Once you have learned how to do a body scan you may notice that something isn’t feeling just right.  If you can pinpoint where in the body you might be feeling off then it can provide a clue as to what is getting in your way. These three simple re-railers are a great first step to getting you back on track. From Elizabeth on LinkedIn Every issue I spotlight a post that most resonated with my network and this time it’s this personal reflection about memories after the unexpected loss of a friend.   You can read the full post here and I hope it resonates with you as well.  Research and Expert Resources While I usually like to share the latest research, with summer ending I am reaching back into the archives to remind you that one or two weeks of holiday is not the most important break you can take for your health and productivity. Frequent, short breaks, particularly to break up a day of meetings helps you manage stress in a busy day. This 2021 Work Trend Index Special Report from Microsoft Worklab shows that breaks not only reduce exhaustion, but they improve our ability to focus and engage throughout the day. These EEG images show one example of where the research supported this conclusion. Back to school and the busy year-end at work is only a few weeks away, so I invite you to keep these breaks in mind for the coming months. Links and Resources The Executive Maven has been added to the Juliette Works blog, which has other blog posts

Issue #2: A Different Table

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Welcome back, particularly the Men — I’m glad you’re here, because I made July “Men’s Month” and I have a few reflections for everyone. At Echo Juliette we work with Executive Teams meaning most of my clients are Men, as were most of my peers and employees throughout my 30+ year career. Men have been the greatest influence on my career success and the greatest challenge. I learned everything I know from them and everything I have had to unlearn. Men are suffering right now and not all of them know it.   Men are living in a world that has been socially engineered to give them a lot of power, but to also expect A LOT from them.   Many people are angry about the power Men have been given and how they have been using it.   I understand — if we’re not pleased with how the world is operating — poverty, discrimination, climate change, human health, war — then we should look at who has been in charge and we should want them to cede power, right? Sure, but that’s not my approach. It’s zero-sum thinking to believe that one person has to give up power for another to gain it and that power struggle is what got us into this situation in the first place. Men need Women at the business table because Women change the dynamic in the room.   Anyone with differences changes the dynamic in the room.   We are so used to “professional”, “executive”, and “CEO” looking a certain way that when they look “different” from that archetype it can feel uncomfortable and foreign. What does an executive look like to you? People different from ourselves force us…  I use the word “force” intentionally, because if we don’t adapt then we aren’t living up to our full potential as leaders or as an organization.   Not adapting will leave our people feeling unheard and unseen and they will think of you as inflexible, close-minded, and old school — because you would be.   My mission to develop extraordinary executives and build high-performing teams is the sole reason that I promote diversity and inclusion at organizations.   Not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it is the only thing that makes sense to do. The alternative is poor leadership and I’m tired of hearing stories every day about toxic workplaces full of discrimination, harassment, and lack of humanity. None of us wants that, none of us deserves it, and it doesn’t make good business sense. Men’s month was well received and I think that’s because Men want to be included in the discussion and be a part of creating better organizations together.   They don’t want to be seen as the cause of what’s not working for all of us, they want to be on the winning team. We have 11 months until the next Men’s Month, so let’s see how much progress we can all make together between now and then. From the Executive Maven Toolkit In each issue I share a simple tool from our library and today I am sharing the Stakeholder Line.  It is an easy way to think about your support network as a continuum rather than in two buckets.  It’s also helpful in neutralizing the people who are taking a disproportionate amount of your time away from building relationships and supporting the people who can have the greatest impact on your success. Take a look and have fun making your own (just don’t leave it on the printer!) From Elizabeth on LinkedIn Men’s Month covered a lot of ground, but I also took a break last week to spend time with author Elizabeth Leiba and the women in my much cherished global, virtual bookclub.   We had just finished reading her book, I’m Not Yelling: A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace. Read what I thought of the book and what it meant to my bookclub in my LinkedIn post here. Research and Expert Resources The Gender Social Norms Index was released last month. The GSNI quantifies biases against women, capturing people’s attitudes on women’s roles.  The index, covers 85 percent of the global population and reveals that close to 9 out of 10 men and women hold fundamental biases against women.  Nearly half the world’s people believe that men have more right to a job than women do, and two of five people believe that men make better business executives than women do.  Before you think “not us” note that this data is not skewed by country — gender biases are pronounced in both low and high Human Development Index (HDI) countries.  Yes, these biases hold across regions, income, level of development and cultures—making them a truly global issue. You can read the United Nations full report here. Links and Resources The Executive Maven has been added to the Juliette Works blog, which has other blog posts on a variety of different career topics. You can check it out here. If you’d like to receive The Executive Maven in your email box on the 14th and 28th of every month you may sign up here.

Issue #1: My Engagement Story

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 I would cry in the shower so no one would hear me. That’s how I started almost every day when I had a job that was slowly eating away at my soul. I soon realized that I was not alone. The world has an employee engagement crisis.   According to Gallup, 59% of employees are quiet quitting and 18% are loudly quitting! I know exactly what low engagement feels like.  While I was shower crying I was quietly quitting.  Then one day I woke up and actually quit. I was broken and couldn’t stand it anymore. I vowed that day to dedicate the rest of my career to making sure the same thing didn’t happen to others and that’s when I created my superhero identity… The Executive Maven! The Executive Maven Newsletter I am thrilled to be launching a newsletter that will share the most valuable insights and wisdom from my 25-year executive career.  The Executive Maven newsletter will come out on the 14th and 28th of every month (just like my first paycheck.) It is a one-stop shop for helping you navigate the working world. In The Executive Maven I will share the latest research, workplace stories that resonate, and simple tools you can use in leading your teams and yourself. If you want The Executive Maven in your inbox twice a month please click here to subscribe From The Executive Maven Toolkit For this first issue I am sharing my simple formula for achieving absolutely anything. Three simple boxes that you can complete for small goals or for big ambitions! In order to…. (insert your goal or ambition) I will… (insert strengths and strategies) And not let… (insert roadblocks and limiting beliefs) To get in my way! This works no matter what role you have in an organization, and it can be something you want to achieve for your company or for yourself. I use this framework with my coaching clients all the time and it works like a charm. From Elizabeth on LinkedInJuly is Men’s Month at Juliette Works and every day I am posting content that directly supports Men’s workplace journeys while expressing gratitude, empathy, and healthy challenge for what Men do well and how all of us can support them better. So far this month has included posts on the Act Like a Man Box, Men that supported my career, and Good Guys. I post daily workplace wisdom on LinkedIn so follow me there to never miss a post! Research and Expert ResourcesIf you’re quietly quitting or worried about employees who are, then finding out more about the global employee engagement crisis and what we can do about it may be valuable. You can read the Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace report here. Links and Resources If you want The Executive Maven in your inbox twice a month please click here to subscribe. Signing up doesn’t mean you will get an endless number of emails from me, it’s just not my style. If you have more time to invest in yourself then visit my free Links and Resources page here.

Networking

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Networking is one of the most vital aspects of the corporate world. Without mastering the art of networking, I wouldn’t have had the experiences I had as a senior executive for major firms.  However, as quintessential as the skill is, people often find it difficult or uncomfortable to put themselves in these situations.  What keeps us from networking can be largely viewed as limiting beliefs we hold.  People fear rejection. We don’t like when people don’t respond to our message, or simply pretend like we don’t exist.  Don’t give your fear too much power! The worst thing that can happen is they say “no”.  Networking can also have a negative connotation due to its transactional nature. However, being strategic with how you spend your time doesn’t make it less authentic. Networking is really no different from putting yourself strategically.  Facing new people and having conversations of depth may not seem like the right thing for us, but never sabotage yourself with self-labels like “introverted” or “not good at networking”. No one is born with the confidence and skills for networking; everyone starts somewhere.  If you believe you don’t have enough time, you must prioritize networking and free up time by improving your effectiveness. There are clear DO’s and DON’Ts when it comes to networking, just make sure you are on the right side.  You must also start thinking of networking as a part of your job. The more people you face and the larger you build your network, the greater the resources will be that can help you reach your goals and solve the problems in your life.  If you think networking is a waste of time, you should change your mind as soon as possible. Especially if you believe you need other people to succeed, networking is mandatory.  People struggling with networking often think it’s not a part of their job or that it’s a waste of time. However, strategic networking enables you to achieve your work goals, as well as help those around you succeed!  Here are my five steps to managing my network.  Step 1: Deepen Acquaintances This means taking your connections that currently exist and giving them value. One simple example of this may be reaching out to a connection on Linkedin, and starting a conversation with someone in a position or role that you may be interested in. You can progress the relationship by including them in other projects or events that you’re involved in.  Step 2: Broaden close relationships This step involves expanding the topics of conversation that you regularly have with the relationships you already have.  One time I used this was when I was in a group of people that I have ties with through our shared experience of parenthood, and we began talking about businesses and other ventures. This allowed me to expand some of my personal relationships into business relationships that would help me out in one way or another.  Step 3: Develop a tribe  Building 1:1 relationships is a great way to start, but the real power of networking comes from conversations in groups. Not only does it make it more efficient since you’re talking to multiple people at once, but bringing like-minded people together can help you grow and challenge each other. A prime example of this would be an alumni network, since you already share a common ground.  Step 4: Build social connections that bring joy  You never want to build relationships just for the sake of networking. They have to be meaningful to you and be enjoyable; there’s nothing worse than feeling like you have to keep up with someone even though it brings you no joy.  Step 5: Graduate from networking to hosting communities The more you can host communities and bring your various networks to come and share their experience and opinion, the more value you will get out of networking. Examples of this could be hosting panels.  Here are my last few tips for networking:  Build your network before you need it. You never want to be the one reaching out last-minute asking for a favor.  Maintain long-term contact with your relationships. Regularly check-up with how they’re doing — no one wants to ask a favor one day out of nowhere.   Finding a mentor who wants to coach and support you is a tremendous help. They have already been through what you are/will be doing. Take advantage of their resources — their experience and network.  And last but not least, strive for deep meaningful conversations, instead of small talk. At the end of the day, you’re more likely to be remembered from your interesting and memorable conversations. 

Toxic Workplaces 

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First, let me be clear by saying that when I mention toxic workplace, I’m really talking about toxic people around you. If you’re currently working in an environment where harassment and abuse are present, that’s a whole separate topic and should be addressed immediately. Toxic people come in all kinds of form. They range from the senior managers that you fear facing in the conference room, to the people you walk by in the hallway that you call your colleagues. With toxic people often in disguise at workplaces, how do we identify these kinds of people? The first tip I have for you is to look for people who change their moods consistently. It’s amazing how moody toxic people can be, so next time you recognize someone changing their mood or behavior consistently, take note of it. This may also come in the form of showing up in your weak times and vanishing in your glory. Too often do toxic people try to get on your side by appearing to help you when you’re down, but leaving you when you’re truly in need of their help. Toxic people are often manipulative, and the worst part of it is that it’s often difficult to recognize it, especially when you’re the victim. The key step here is to look out for when these people exhibit their manipulative behavior toward other people. Manipulation can come in many forms, the most common being lying. If someone in your workplace makes you prove your loyalty to them, this may also be a sign of a toxic behavior. This often comes in the form of forcing you to make certain decisions by making you feel guilty or causing fear. Combined with their frequent mood swings, toxic people also rarely apologize. These are the kind of people that would much rather dig the hole deeper for their own mistakes, instead of making a simple apology. Passive aggressiveness or giving you the silent treatment can also be examples of toxic behavior. These people tend to also exaggerate a lot in order to twist your words or create the kind of tone or mood they desire. So what should you do when you’re in these kinds of situations? Every situation is different based on the people as well as the circumstances. However, the first step is to disagree respectfully. When you’re in an argument with someone who’s toxic, you’ll usually end up falling deeper down their rabbit hole, so it’s best to end the conversation, respectfully. Don’t get defensive; rather, recognize your stance and be aware that the person in front of you is getting toxic. A lot of times, we try to force ourselves to look for empathy for the other person. “Oh she must have had a bad day” or “he’s just having a rough morning” are excuses we should no longer use to find empathy for toxic people. There should be no reason for you to consistently tolerate toxicity. Always remember to put yourself, and don’t try to fix the other person. We often find ourselves trying to understand the other person’s situation and try to help them become better. This isn’t a solution for toxic people, and it would simply take you way too much time and effort to change this person’s behavior entirely. That is not your job. Finally, my last is to forgive. This is definitely the hardest part, and not everyone can do it. However, there are situations where forgiving someone and moving on is the best thing you can do for yourself. It doesn’t matter how they feel from the forgiveness. By doing so, you’re breaking all ties and negative power they had over you. Checklist for spotting toxic people in the workplace: They switch their moods consistently They manipulate others They project They make you prove your loyalty and trust They don’t apologize They show up in your weak times and vanish in your glory They give you the silent treatment They are passive aggressive They exaggerate They are judgemental How to manage toxicity: Respectfully disagree Don’t get defensive Be conscious of how they make you feel Don’t make excuses for them Put yourself first (add backlink here for managing stakeholders blog) Don’t try to fix them Limit your time together Find an exit remember , you aren’t to blame Forgive them

Strategic Career Pathing

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Finding a new career can seem intimidating, especially if it requires you leaving your comfort zone. Shifting to a different environment and doing the things you aren’t used to never gets easier, and it’s something we all go through.  However, this set of tools I’ve sharpened over the years of working at several different financial firms in the past can certainly help ease your challenges.  To start off, we must first start from the end. But what does starting from the end mean? This means having a clear understanding of where you want to get to in the end. This is your ambition, your aspirations, and your vision.  Don’t try to have it all with the goals. Try to pick a few things that matter the most to you. And the best way to do this is by writing it down.  Once you have a clearly defined goal, start thinking about your assets — the resources that will help you reach your goals. These include strengths, skills and networks that are part of who you are. Use them to your advantage!  While using those assets, it’s also vital to keep your distractions in mind. Are you having any negative self-talk? Are you suffering from Imposter Syndrome? Be honest with yourself, and push away anything that limits your mind, even if that may be someone close to you.  Now that you have your goals, assets, and distractions written down, the next step is to put them all together. Start by matching your goals with the specific strengths, skills, and network you have that will help you achieve those goals. Reduce the distractions by writing them down — you’ll be surprised how much this little trick can do for your mind.  Another vital part of my formula for success is my networking model. Start by offering more effort/performance in whatever you do, and don’t ask for compensation or recognition. Soon, you’ll build a reputable network that recognizes your value and keeps you relevant and connected to other parts of the organization. This may one day become the asset that takes you one step closer to your goals. For more tips and tricks on networking, check this post out.  If there is one thing I saw happen over and over throughout my career, it is that career paths are non-linear. This means that no two people share idental paths that took them to their respective place. Just because you do what I did, does not mean that you will be where I am. Always keep an open mind for the different paths that may lead to your outcome. Never stop asking yourself the question, “no, really why”.  Lateral and upward career shifts benefit from career capital.  Career capital is anything that puts you in a better position to make a difference in the future, including skills, achievement, connections, and reputation.  Credentials and degrees become less important over time.  Building career capital early in your career should be your highest priority.  The earlier you are in your career, the more room to take risks, and embrace failures that you can learn from.  “The road to senior leadership is paved with career capital” – Elizabeth Sandler, Juliette Works 

Fear in Workplace and Your Professional Career

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Empathy can be broken into three different types: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate empathy.  Cognitive empathy refers to the practice of knowing and understanding how others might feel. What makes this complex is that the dark triads — those with narcissism, machiavellianism, and psychopathy, can use this skill without regard for others without actually being empathetic.  Emotional empathy relates to the ability for one to physically feel and relate to the emotions experienced by others. Some challenges in this area range from psychological exhaustion and group polarization to projected intentions.  It’s extremely common to psychologically get exhausted when you’re trying very hard to understand another person. Frankly, you’re not doing yourself or the person any good, so just snap out of it.  Group polarization occurs when you begin to take an increased stance or a changed perspective on a subject, particularly because you’ve grown to emotionally relate to the topic or those that are involved.  Projecting intentions literally means suggesting your intentions to someone and forcing them to behave or think in a certain way. We might think that we’re giving them a service by justifying the way they feel, but oftentimes simply letting them explain their feelings is much healthier than trying to project feelings. The last type of empathy is compassionate empathy, which is understanding one’s situation while also feeling the need to help. This can be tricky, as we all need a filter on our ability to help and prioritize ourselves.  We all choose to be compassionate, as it genuinely makes us feel better. However, you must keep your own hero mentality from getting out of control: focus on yourself before you’re ready to help others.  At its best, fear protects us from potential danger. At its worst, fear creates anxiety, hurts our health, and impacts our happiness. But we often deal with fear by avoiding it, ignoring it rather than addressing it. 

The Purpose Fallacy

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Throughout the years I’ve worked as an executive, I’ve had my opportunity to learn how to set up for success by building on the strategy maps I adapted for businesses and people. I would look at whatever business or division or product area I was running, I would put the ultimate goal at the top. And then I would start cascading from there, in order to be able to get to the point where I could have all the functions.  This value-based chart allowed different members of the team to see exactly where they fall and what they need to do in order to collectively achieve the top goal. Eventually, I realized that this model can be applied to any aspect of life, not just in the workspace.  For me personally, it was my goal to run the most profitable business in my firm while keeping myself from sacrificing my life at home. I came up with clear and concrete smaller goals, as well as metrics to measure my progress.  With that being said, you don’t want to try to have goals across all of the different aspects of the life wheel; you really want to hone in on one, two, maximum three areas you’re trying to develop.  One thing you should always remember, though, is that you don’t need a set list of criteria to achieve these goals. When I was working at the senior executive level of a firm and was faced with a leadership assessment to determine potential new roles. I was confronted with a rather surprising result; I was told that I met every single checkbox in this supposedly very-detailed assessment of my capabilities as a leader.  Although I felt a short burst of joy, I was soon filled with rather disappointment at the fact that I wasn’t the most senior executive nor the highest paid member of the firm. If I met all these great qualifications that make me a superior leader, why wasn’t I properly compensated? What could these people have that I don’t have?  For the first time in my career, after going through hundreds of assessments of this kind trying to check every single box, I realized that after doing all this work, I really didn’t need to worry about checking boxes anymore. If I really wanted something, I could just go get it.

Burnout: How to identify and resolve them. 

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In 1974, psychologist Herbert Freudenberger theorized 12 phases of the burnout process.  He defined burnout as, “a state of mental and physical exhaustion caused by one’s professional life.”  These phases don’t necessarily happen in order, nor does everyone experience each one:  Phase 1: Compulsion to prove oneself Obsessed with doing an excellent job in every way possible  Phase 2: Working harder Focusing on work as top priority and finding it hard to switch off Phase 3: Neglecting their needs Sacrificing sleep, exercise, and healthy eating for work  Phase 4: Displacing conflicts Becoming aware something isn’t right but dismissing the problem  Phase 5: Revision of values  Work begins to consume the energy for previous friends or hobbies  Phase 6: Denial of emerging problems Intolerance and aggressiveness blamed on time pressure  Phase 7: Withdrawal  Increasingly preferring isolation and often using alcohol as a release  Phase 8: Obvious behavioral changes Others begin to notice changes from feeling worthless and fearful  Phase 9: Depersonalization No longer seeing self as valuable and life becomes mechanical  Phase 10: Inner emptiness  Desperately reaching for vices and activity to fill an inner void  Phase 11: Depression  Overwhelmed and exhausted, beginning to lose hope and meaning  Phase 12: Burnout syndrome  Total emotional, mental, and physical collapse  Action plan for addressing burnout Step 1: Get clarity Be clear about what you like/dislike about your current situation. Identify all potential areas of resentment – both personally and professionally Define what really drives you to work the way you do Step 2: Find support Zero in on the specific issue you need to address Quantify the scale and magnitude of the journey ahead  Catalog the relationships you have that can support you Step 3: Rewire List the positive micro-habits to introduce, and bad habits to break  Pinpoint the key mindset shift you need to make  Script a new self-dialogue to replace destructive patterns  Step 4: Refocus  Make your health and well-being your top priority  Take the time to create a vision for the person you are meant to be  Don’t allow derailers, saboteurs, or bullies to throw you off course  Employer Checklist for Burnout  Burnout is a workplace syndrome and therefore interventions driven by an organization have a far greater impact than changes individuals can make alone.  Companies lose billions of dollars in absenteeism, lower productivity, and sick-leave due to burnout; thus, organizations should prioritize resolving burnout amongst their employees for maximum efficiency and performance.  Here’s a quick look at some traits that are common at a workplace that accelerates burnout, versus a healthy workplace.  A burnout workplace:  Perception that the employer is selfish or untrustworthy  Job security or pay ambiguity  Unmanageable workload and always “on-call”  Reduced resources or lack of manager support  Unreasonable time pressure  Policy and procedure constraints  Inequity and unfair treatment  Lack of reinforcement or recognition  Unclear communication from managers  Harassment and abuses  Vs A healthy workplace:  Promote autonomy and empowerment  Appropriate manager support  Encourages learning from mistakes  Promotes teamwork  Values diverse opinions  Makes work purposeful  Productive and inviting workplace  Employee involvement in goal setting  Maximize employee strength  Regular staff rotation, continuous training and development 

Storytelling

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Everyone has a story unique to their own life and journey. In places where social interaction is vital, storytelling serves an important role as it gets the networking ball rolling. The power of storytelling is even backed by science: the brain likes the intrigue and ability to visualize.  It makes you more memorable, more approachable, more authentic, and more valuable.  Whenever you’re stuck or have difficulty making your point, keep these simple steps in mind:  Step 1: Segue to your topic  Step 2: Signal you have something to say Step 3: Summit you started from Step 4: Highlight the struggles you faced Step 5: Emphasize the solution to the problem  Step 6: Underscore the impact it had and its significance.  If coming up with personal yet relatable stories isn’t your forte, that’s okay, you can prepare:  Start by brainstorming about 30 events in your life that taught you something, that revealed something interesting, or achievements exclusively unique to you. Crete well designed stories around these key events and practice them. Make sure you set the scene, highlighting the time and location of the event. Remember, people love descriptions that allow them to visualize in their own head.  Have a memorable moral, point, or insight that bookends the story.  Use them whenever you need them – networking events, panels, interviews, presentations.  Storytelling can also be used when you are trying to give someone feedback or in difficult situations where you need others to be able to relate to you.  Make sure your impactful story takes them into the valley (the core of your story) and back out again; it’s about the journey NOT the destination.