Issue #10: Trust Me

What is difficult and time consuming to build, but can be lost in an instant?

That’s right, it’s Trust and it is both hard to come by and eroding quickly these days.

Earlier in my career I took a role as the right hand person for someone I didn’t know who had a reputation of having high expectations and being a bit volatile when those expectations weren’t met.

Day one I walked into his office ready to tame the beast and he sits me down to say, “okay, we need to trade a secret. Something we don’t want anyone else to know.”

“Uhhh, why do we need to do that?” I was clueless as to where he was going.

“So that we build trust.”  He gave me the “obviously” look I have seen countless times since then.

I was amused more than insulted and made him an alternative offer — give me six months to earn your trust in my way and if I still don’t have it by then we can trade a secret.

He agreed and I spent the next six months demonstrating to him that I was a good listener, a results-driven team member, and put our business first. I shared transparently about my strengths, my insecurities, and when he let me down by not backing me up in a stressful meeting I walked into his office and told him so. His apology was sincere and he thanked me for speaking up.

Six months later I went back into his office and asked if he trusted me. I was rewarded with the “obviously” look and I walked out muttering, “then I guess we don’t need to trade a secret.”

It’s easy for me to build trust, not because I’m trustworthy, most people are. It’s easy because I’m willing to be vulnerable. I would rather live authentically and be less successful than be blustery and convince people I’m someone that I’m not.

Earning his trust wasn’t enough to be successful in that role. I had to earn the trust of my peers — including the dozen men who also reported to him, the heads of all our support functions, and the other COOs for our adjacent businesses.

I will pause here to acknowledge that this is easier said than done, particularly the more underrepresented you are in your workplace. Contending with biases and less than inclusive cultures often makes it risky to be vulnerable. As one of the few women I was constantly on guard with the “information is power” scheme and having to be cautious of people who would use my vulnerabilities against me (it definitely happened.)

As I said, building trust is difficult and time consuming, but you get to show up at work every day being and feeling trusted. 

Trust allows you to take risks, to demand support, to challenge people, and to free up the mental energy you would otherwise use for politics, protecting yourself, and engineering your work persona. 

High-trust teams are more efficient, more effective, and generate better ideas and results.

If you aren’t part of a high-trust team right now then I humbly encourage you to make this your priority for 2024 (see DIY tips below.)

A high-trust workplace and team is more effective and more enjoyable, trust me.

From the Executive Maven Toolkit

I didn’t have to dig too deeply into the library because this is the most important tool I use in my Leadership Teams business.

This is The Five Behaviors, based on Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a team. I use his assessment and methodology with leadership teams across the globe and before that I used it with the leadership teams I was a part of.

And it starts with Trust.

Here are some DIY tips for building trust as a leader:

  • Share personal stories (and the insight you gained, including missteps!)
  • Communicate your values transparently and demonstrate them
  • Clearly state expectations of the team and each individual
  • Acknowledge and create team diversity
  • Embrace conflict’s role in generating the best solutions
  • Reward and recognize contribution to team results (versus individual results)

From Elizabeth on LinkedIn

My most engaged (I won’t say popular) post in the last two weeks was unfortunately about the log that I have been keeping on abusive workplace stories. Too often I hear from people that HR is “part of the problem.”

HR plays a unique role in any organization’s trust-building and if that trust is broken then there is little chance it exists elsewhere in the company.

Let’s collectively make sure we set HR up for success and that we address cultural issues at the top of an organization before we expect employees to build high-trust teams.          

Research and Expert Resources

No discussion of Trust is complete without mentioning the Edelman Trust Barometer.

Their results can be divided by country so I am spotlighting the US report here and picking two elements that relate to us as business leaders.

First, Americans are more likely to trust scientists than in the past, but the group they trust the same amount are co-workers. This is significant when it comes to building trust and maintaining trust in a workplace. With our co-workers expecting us to be more trust worthy than any other group it is essential that we demonstrate trust.

Second, Business is the only institution seen as both ethical and competent for the third year in a row, although the assessment of competence is decreasing slightly.

People are expecting us to be competent, ethical and trustworthy leaders.

Links and Resources

For a limited time I am offering “Module 1: Building Trust” from my full-day Leadership Team program as a stand-alone 90-minute workshop for any size or level team. 

This includes a short-survey and a facilitated discussion of your team’s results as well as personalized action steps the team can take to build greater trust.

If you plan on investing in your team next year then starting with Trust is critical.

DM me on LinkedIn or email info@echojuliette.com if you’re interested in bringing this workshop to your team in 2024.

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